Death to self

I think most people who have gone to church any significant amount of time have run across a sermon, or, if they read the Bible on their own, the verses, where Jesus predicts his death. Below is the passage from Mark 8 with verses in line.

31He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. 32He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.
33But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."
34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life[c] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

Long running arguments about the nature of this verse--is it literal or metaphorical--are not the road I want to take today, but, I know those are intriguing concepts.

I am looking more at the issue of self-denial and trying to make sense of how that really works. I assume, based on the fundamental belief Jesus suggested the disciples do it, that is can be done. Of course, on the easy stuff, things which are not major, deep rooted issues, this is doable. I can get that. However, when you get to issues that you cannot walk away from no matter what you do, no matter how badly you want or how much it hurts. Then, we are talking about a different story.

To try and put this type of matter to a head, I was shown the idea of looking at death to self literally. Death is a matter of finality, of permanence. Insofaras death means an end. When people die, in most cases, they do not come back to life. The end is full and complete. With regards to self-denial (or the "death of self") I don't see this sense of death. Rather, it's more of a comatose state...it can wake up at any time and after a little free-for-all, go back to its zombie mode.

I long for the presence of God so powerful that sin can be put to death. My intial hope here is the supernatural "you're freed once and for all" kind of release. However, I think most have to struggle, thought-to-thought, moment-to-moment for that overcoming. Doing this over and over and over, submitting one's self to Christ, focusing on him, instead of the object of wrath, the sinful thing, over and over and over will transform character. And, that, the transformation of character, the supernatural metamorphosis of self that occurs under God's loving hand, that is the kind of death I seek. A sublimation of eternal proportions. I seek permenance, but, recognize that God's way is one that allows us to die and yet live through the process of death and denial.