Thorn in the side: blessing or curse?

When Paul speaks of the "a thorn in his side" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) he's highlighting someone or something that continually causes problems. Much speculation exists about exactly what he was referring to with the comment. (I did find this article inferring it was the junta of Judaizers he always had to clean up after interesting: http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/bible/thorn.html) To me, it is more important that he said this than the specific thing he was alluding to with the remark. Everyone has a torn in their side. Yet, what may be a thorn in one person's side is nothing to another. God keeps each of us humble in unique ways because no two people are the same.

I have been meeting with a friend of mine recently in the mornings to discuss various things. A couple of weeks ago we met as usual. I managed to get there a little early and tried to squeeze in some reading. After thumbing through a few sections of Scripture, I stopped at verse that struck me and picked up from there. At the time, I thought there was no particular reason to it. Five minutes later he arrived, grabbed some coffee and we started talking. The only time he opened his bible he started reading from a verse in the column immediately to the left of where I started.

I chuckled a bit. Later I realized something. For years I have complained about various things in which I am so close to success, to nailing something. Whether it's a point in an argument or discussion...or some new thing I am studying...or naming an issue, I always have the same problem: I can do exactly what I want to. Almost. Every time I am nearly perfect in my efforts, but, not quite. Something is always off just a bit. This has plagued me for as long as I can know.

At first, it was school, the arguments, then, relationships. But, I realized that perhaps God has deliberately made me this way so I don't get too prideful. For me, I want to possess power, accuracy, intelligence, wisdom. Many of these things stem from a desire to protect myself, not glorify God. With a root like that, it's no wonder God would put a stumbling block in front of me.

Yet, at the same time, I feel like he has opened my eyes. I feel as if I am someone who gets exceedingly close (and that is a gift) but who needs others (whether men or the Spirit) to help me with my accuracy and vision. Just realizing this gives me some freedom. In a sense, there is something wrong with me (from my point of view) but, from God's perspective, it's just right. So, I may not have the same kind or degree of issue Paul faced, but, I can relate to the self-awareness that I will most likely never be fully capable of exerting the influence I desire. And, glory be to God, it's by design...not mistake. Indeed, I count my blessings Lord.