As seems to happen so often lately, going to church provided me a large download of tasks. It happens in spurts. For the most part, my assignments have been small. Blog this. Write this email. Read this. However, I find it challenging to try and keep up with all these little activities. Generally, keeping up lately means creating...specifically, writing. Lots of tidbits and thoughts that I find important for recording, possibly rephrased more accurately, as transcribing. In the back of my mind, though, is the notion that the creative spirit I keep hearing mentioned at the few conferences I go to is trying to get a stronger connection with my life. But, I am digressing a bit. It's neat to see God giving me more tasks and focusing me in the arena of my heart, creative works and writing about the things of God.

Today's sermon was about worship. Reviewing the list of podcasts hosted on the church website showed at least one sermon in the past year discussing worship. Yet, today's sermon really connected with me on several levels. Yesterday I received Barbie's monthly newsletter. It had the following word, "Do you sense the stirring in your spirit and restlessness in your soul? You are still in a time of transition as you leave behind the things that no longer have relevance in your life and prepare for the days ahead. This is a time of sorting and sifting, and that which either hinders your progress or has become useless will be set aside or discarded. Be sensitive to the leading of My Spirit, says the Lord, and be willing to release everything that would impede your progress. And when you let go, you will suddenly be aware of a greater spiritual freedom."

That word resonated within me so completely it's hard to communicate how encouraging it was. The past few weeks have been hard for me. Since Kerri and I got married things that I either clung to out of selfishness or fear have slowly been being removed one by one. The biggest was running. Prior to getting married I was running about 110 miles a week with the ambition of becoming a professional long distance runner. Since I was 12 I have been running and marriage marked a real turning point for me. Now, I hardly run at all, for a variety of reasons, but that major draw on my life is now gone. It is no longer relevant like so many other things in my life.

Then, I hear this sermon today talking about worship. For years I have wondered exactly how to worship. I know at times that the Holy Spirit descends and at those moments I am connected with God. That is the heart of worship, honoring God will my fullest attention. But, today's sermon started at a familiar crossroads: John 4:23. One of my friends, and an elder at Baton Rouge Vineyard, Kent, taught a series on the gospel that began with this scripture and went into some heavy messages...things I am still processing and will probably not fully comprehend for some time. (PS: Micah just redid his site and it looks great!) At any rate, I feel like today's message was a call from on high to refocus on this message, "worshipping him in spirit and truth."

Before I even heard Kent's talks, I had tried to apply my spiritual mathetmatics (Simone Weil's coinage, not my own) to Scripture trying to find those meaningful patterns. For instance, Jesus declares "I am the way, the truth and the life." (John 10:7) To the best of my knowledge, no one else has ever declared, "I am the truth." Later on, Jesus also declares, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32) Though Jesus clearly stated "I am the truth" after he declared the power of truth, can nonetheless be rewritten as, "Then you will know me [the truth], and I [the truth] will set you free." It is Jesus who sets us free.

But, this type of axiomatic substitution doesn't meaningfully splash across scripture so I don't take it too heavily. For instance, when Jesus says "worship in spirit and truth" he's not talking about worshiping "in spirit and in me [truth]", so that doesn't really fit. Just in this one verse (8:31-32) does it really seem to add a dimension to what was being discussed. Freedom comes through relationship with Jesus, relationship with truth. It was an eye opener to try an substitute one scripture into another and see where it went, but it only worked in a few spots.

Of course, all this rests on the premise that the gospels are considered equivalent in their scope and message. They're not. John is set apart as not being one of the synoptic gospels so I am at times reluctant to base actions on the one gospel of the four that is least like the others. But, at the same time, it has more merit despite it's more deliberate theological content; John was the only gospel writer, as far as I know, to know Jesus personally. Futhermore, he was certainly the only gospel writer who was an Apostle. So, despite its variance from the common message, John's veracity comes to mind more quickly than the others.

Because I had some exposure to different facets of literature than I think lots of folks hearing this message it struck me oddly. In my philosophical readings I ran into a movement that focused on truth as a mathematical topic, one of pure logic. From, I learned, and this is pretty basic grad school fodder, truth is a matter of symbolic language. Words are symbols communicating information. In the case of truth, words communicate the way things really are. Now, going back to my basic word swapping approach, thinking of Jesus as a symbol communicating the way things really are made a lot of sense. If Jesus is the truth, his actions are how truth behaves and his speech is an expression of truth. Now, that is a lot more significant than where I started going with my word substitutions.

Well, Kent talked at length about Jesus' life and works, in particular how we, as modern evangelical Christians, have a tendancy to associate the "word" with the bible and by so doing effectively misrepresent what Jesus was all about. We negate the truth and the power of truth by connecting the wrong acts with the wrong words. This incorrect association bears out in the parallel logic of my little word experiments. If language is the medium through which truth is communicated, would truth exist without the right language connecting to the right meaning? Of course not. Now, if Christ's teachings without Christ are powerless, why do we persist in teaching that the gospel without the works of Christ is meaningful? Christian truth is a manifestion of Jesus Christ's life and spirit. Without this as the basis of our approach to life, Christianity is meaningless and disconnected from what the gospel teaches.

What is truth without language? Nothing. So, what is Christ without the Word? The word here is not the bible, the recorded history of his life and words. It is the living, life-giving spirit that raised him from the dead. Works, wonders and signs are prophetic inheritance we adopted from the Old Testament through Christ and his followers and I see life as a Christian without them as more harmful a reflection on Christ's life than otherwise. We are to worship him in spirit and truth. This calls us to fully focus our lives on God and the life modelled by Jesus in a way to which nothing else can compare. It is from this wholly focused body, soul and spirit that true worship and following of Christ comes. He echoes his own teaching, "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” with these calls. Put God first in every part of your being and worship will occur wherever you are. You will see all creation as God's holy work. You will praise him for all things. It is our divine command. How can we not fully devote ourselves to him without knowing we are living a lie?

Also, it came clear that we can only do this, worship God in spirit and truth, by being completely focused on God. Let me take a real world analogy. Most people have five senses. It is easy to use one of these senses to know something. But, using all five senses gives a tremendous experience of something. Imagine something you can see, taste, touch, smell and hear. Whatever this is will have a powerful connection and provide a tremendous experience. In this case, the five senses overlap to create a very unique absorption in connection with the thing being experienced. It is almost as if nothing else can be experienced when one is so completed focused on this object.

Now, let's get a little less tangible: the soul. Augustine describes the soul as the mind, will and emotions. Much of what God wrestles over throughout scripture is the soul. Bodies can be healed. Souls, however, are not his domain, at least, not something over which he has unlimited control. He could. It is certainly within his right. But, he has chosen to create the dynamic of free will in order to receive true love and worship. Now, with that in mind, we must consider the three parts of the soul like we considered the five senses.

If the mind is focused on God, but the will and emotions are off in pursuit of selfish matters, God is not worshipped by what we do. Likewise, if the emotions are given to God but the mind and will are off on their own, he's still not honored. God is honored most when our mind, will and emotions are all focused on giving him glory. Now, what does that look like? It looks like worship. When we are making thoughtful, passionate choices for the kingdom in spirit and truth, God is going to be glorified. That is the fullest measure of worship the soul can offer. Beyond that is only physical, soul and spirit worship in union. That, when performed for years on end leads to holiness. That is the kind of worshipper God seeks, one who sets aside every part of their lives because they love him so much nothing can come between him and his lovers.