While posting on an interesting topic I had confessed my own 2-year old temper in matters of spirituality. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I'm immature and will grow up in time. In the middle of my musings, I did, however, come to realize a little connection. For a long time, the idea of being and action had the wrong framework for me. In philosophy there is a long tradition of author's taking another thinker's work and tweaking it to make some ignored or, if not completely abused, at least, under-stated point. Sartre's "Being and nothingness" is probably the most famous, but, there are at least two other spin-offs I can think of immediately. Whitehead's "Process and being", Heidigger's "Being and Time" This whole school of philosophy deals with ontology. That's the ten-dollar word for the "study of being".

Enough of that rabbit trail. From the philosopher's war of being I gathered the basic idea that being is a passive act. Of course, if I reread these works, I would most likely realize I am projecting a personal perspective onto their works. It's been a while since I read any of these works, but, the lingering effect is that of passivity. When I came to start reading the Bible deeply, I saw verses like, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) that probably reinforced a somewhat questionable idea of God's desire or intention for passivity. In the context of this verse, yes, passivity was at least until I saw what I saw tonight, a misrepresentation of what I believe God truly wants.

Now, my caveat here, ok, my outright disclaimer, is that I am not pretending like I do have the answer yet. Just the realization that I need to look in a different direction. So, that direction is... If we are to be passive, as my initial thought would have lent me to reason out, we would be incapable, by definition, of doing anything. Now, I know God can, and, does, more than we can ever comprehend. But, He doesn't and, by design, isn't supposed to do it all. Ergo, it can't be complete passivity.

Hmmm, what then? So, I can do it all; i.e., I'm not God. The converse is also true; I can't do nothing. Well, that makes it tricky doesn't it. I can't pout and grow at the same time. What does that leave for me to do? Act and be. Now that kind of tweaks my brain. It used to be an either/or scenario. I could act or be, not possibly both. As I showed above, that's illogical. Reconciling how to act and be is a totally new framework for thinking about life. "Being in God", with all its embedded, personal meanings and private significance, implied, in the past, total passivity. Acting carried with it the negative meaning of "selfish" activity. I have heard that we are to surrender to God so He can be in complete control of our lives.

Sounds great. The reality, however, differs from the rosy colored dream my hope had tied itself to. Perhaps, fantasy is a better word. Nonetheless, I am coming to see that God's prompting me, nudging me to rearrange my ideas a bit. Or a lot, as the case may be. He wants something infinitely more challenging than the "surrender" of passivity. God wants me, I believe God wants all of us, to surrender, not to give up and do nothing. To act but to act as He would have us act. In a sense, He wants us to do as He wants us to do. Imagine giving up yourself so completely that you do nothing, that is to say, you make no decisions, but, rather, carry out the decisions of another.

You see, it isn't inactivity of body he wants, it's inactivity of soul. He wants us to submit our will, not our lives. He needs our lives if we are to embody His will. We all are made to glorify God with our unique calling. And, only by living as we were created to live and be, can we fully allow God to carry out His plan. As I write this I am hearing in the back of my mind the nagging voice of the cynic, the critic and the theologically minded pointing out that we do not add to God. God is omnipotent, omniscient, etc. Yeah, He's all-everything. I see it another way. If we fully submit ourselves, we add nothing to God. Instead, we detract nothing from His plan if we do as much as we can. Yet, if we do not submit ourselves, we can prevent God's plan from being as full as it could be by preventing our portion of the plan from being carried out.

Coming back from that little rabbit trail, I sense that the war of free will is the heart of the matter here. If God could replace my will with His, what would my life be like? I believe that is what God longs for us to do. Now, I can hear others ask, why would someone do that? I completely believe God's plan is the perfect plan, the following of which brings the greatest possible fulfillment in one's life. Like the detraction comment above, our life is full to the degree to which we follow God's plan. Obviously, my spiritual pouting is slowing me down. God, of course, can use all things for good. That doesn't make my tantrum okay. Just a beautiful facet of grace I thank Him for about 50 times a day.

So, that leaves me with this blank slate called my life. I stand in this moment with a past, from which to draw experiences and a future, onto which I can choose to either continue to project myself...or, I can begin to let God show me what He wants me to see. To do this, I have to let God choose for me. I cannot not choose for myself. So, to make different choices, I have to rely on someone other than myself. (I guess I am invoking the idea of otherness here.) It really is, at its core, a paradox, an impossibility. It reveals an area where God must act. I, by the nature of the situation, cannot do it for myself. So, I turn here to another person. Of course, that person, can be human (as many people turn to) or non-human, angelic, demonic, etc. That being said, being and acting is a supernatural challenge. Being oneself, and an expression of another's will at the same time, is an eternal complexity I am only beginning to comprehend God wants me to fully embrace.